28 May 2009

The Umbilical Brothers


*from my memory (which isn't very good)

At 8pm this evening the red velvet curtains of the Albany Town hall parted to show.... an empty stage!!
Where are they?
The voiceover introduces them 3 times.
The a phone is dialled.
Shane answers. he's in Japan.
What about Albany?
Oh Shit Albany!
A taxi, a plane and a parachute later The Umbilical Brothers are hanging to the outside of the Albany Town Hall.
The they fall.
And are dead.

God tells David and Shane that only one can go through the gates.
They much go back and decide who.

David wakes up. Walks through his imaginary house to his imaginary bathroom. Hilarity ensues.
"Are You talking to me?"
"I'm an American"
David wakes. Shane is knocking at the imaginary door of Davids imaginary house.
David: "I had a nightmare"
Shane: "Oh the one with the sea otters and hand lotion?"
David: "no the one where I'm an American" dun dun dunnn!

David thinks he's crazy. So does everyone else. but not to hurt his feeling we say he's not....
he is...
he goes for a walk in the imaginary park.
Meets Andrew.
David steps on Andrew.
Andrew is a cricket.
Shane is sad.
David tells Shane that Andrew has gone to an engagement party.
Who's?
Andrew and David are engaged. WTF!

Shane finds out Andrew is dead.
Is Sad.
Hates David.

David is a parking inspector, directing traffic. Hilarity ensues.
Shane wants money for Andrews Funeral.
"Gimme 20c"
Shane chases David.
Through Gym.
and town.
and the moon.

Space ship fight.
Shane and David fall out of their spaceships.
Falling towards Earth.
Falling.
Falling.

Holding onto the edge of building.
floating around stage on office chairs.
David gets too close to edge of stage.
I don't want an Umbilical Brother to fall on me....
or do i???

Fall off building.
God stops.
Someone has taken the one space left.
Andrew.

more hilarity ensues. =D
Velco world.
the end.

Stayed to see if they'd come out. They didn't. Probably on their way to The Earl for drinkies.