29 August 2010

i was about to runaway

Had a emotional breakdown today.
I completely lost it.
There was no one home, and I was going to get into my car and leave.
I don't know where I was going to go. I was just going.
But mum and dad came home before I left.
I talked with mum a little.
Then she turned it and started going on about herself... again.
I was going to scream at her, but luckily didn't.
After I had relaxed, mum, dad and I went out to two peoples bay.
We climbed over the rocks and chased crabs. It was fun.
I discovered that if I sit and do nothing for too long I feel sad and depressed.
So I have to keep myself occupied.
I'm afraid that I'll never have any children. For couple of reasons.
1) PCOS (even though I don't have it bad. it scares me)
2) too shy to go out and meet people.
I was looking for a local psychologist last night.
But mum thinks I should try weight watchers. I think having a support network will help.
I just need to socialise. I'm like a Sim in Sims 2. My Social bar is getting lower, soon, if I don't socialise, the Social Bunny will appear. And I don't want him too, cos he's creepy.
I downloaded some music from new bands.
Secondhand Serenade (I like one of their songs, Fall For You... until it was played a hundred million times on the radio)
and Automatic Loveletter. 
The lead singer, Juilet Simms, sings in one of Secondhand Serenades' songs.
I love them both.
Fave songs so far are, Something More by Secondhand Serenade and Make-Up Smeared Eyes by Automatic Loveletter.
Juliet Simms is quite good looking. I sense a girl crush.
 So. I MUST STAY POSITIVE. and OCCUPIED.

Princess Geek  
xoxo