04 January 2011

Emotional Rambles

Feeling sad and depressed today. My nose hurts because I got sunburnt, I miss having my mum at home and the prospects of moving out scares me. I think I want to move out, I think I'm ready, it's just scary, and it's not like I don't want to leave my home (well I do, but whether I move out on my own or not, we still have to move out anyone, because it's sold). The idea of someone living in the house I've lived in for 24 years is very sad, but I know I don't have a choice. The sheer enormity of the task of packing up my room is actually starting to give me nightmares. There are pros and cons of moving out with a friend.

PROS
  • more room for all my shit.
  • social factors (not sure if it's a pro or a con :D)
  • Possibly of getting my own cat (roommate wants dog :D)
  • Away from family.

CONS
  • pay more rent (max $150 a week, as opposed to $100 a fortnight board)
  • tiny room if I stay at home. won't be able to fit everything in my room now, into a tiny room.
  • Can't paint/renovate rental.
  • Away from family.
  • Extra costs (for appliances, power, water, gas etc.)
I realise there are more CONS at the moment. Doesn't matter how many times I write this PRO/CON list, I can't afford to move out at the moment. I was going to go in and resign from Blockbuster this morning, but Boss is away, and I really need all the extra money I can make, so there really is no way I can resign until I have more shifts at Target, or another second job. Did I ever mention before, how much I HATE money?

And to add to all the other stress, I'm trying to decide if I should withdraw from my course. I haven't done any work on it yet, and with all this shit that's going on I'm not really in the right frame of mind to do it, but my problem is, I have until 27th January to withdraw and not have to pay anything, after that date I have to pay a certain percentage.... but if I withdraw before that date... what if I regret it later? I just had a look at the withdrawal policies and it looks harder to withdraw than it does to just finish the course. And knowing me, this is just a faze I'm going through because I'm feeling a little depressed. I think I need to get myself organised. I've started the new year a mess, literally, emotionally, physically and mentally, so I need to clean up. And that is where I'll leave you today. Back into real life mode tomorrow.

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